Barefoot Monologues

A Journey of the Sole

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Barefoot Monologues Blogiversary: 11 Things I Learned in 2011

Hello readers, I hope you’ve kicked the New Year’s Eve hangovers and have started enjoying 2012 (a.k.a. the last year before the Mayans got lazy).

Today is a happy day for me, because it is the 1 year blogiversary of Barefoot Monologues! Sweet baby Jesus, you mean I actually stuck with something for a whole year?! Yes, miracles do happen!

In 2011 I wrote exactly 50 posts to this blog, made a few friends, gained (one or two) readers and learned a few things about life, love and running. Over the past few days, while melting into my couch and enjoying my much needed 12-day vacation, I tried to figure out what this post should be about. At first I decided I would write this motivational essay on my resolutions for the new year…but, I really kind of think resolutions are crap (or…when I make them they are). Well, maybe they’re not total crap. I mean, I have made some promises to myself for the coming training season that include things like not fussing over pace and never eating another doughnut for the rest of my life, but if I boast on and on about them here, then I’ll look like an asshole later on when I break them. I would rather only have myself to disappoint.

So instead, I thought I’d make a list of 11 things that 2011 has taught me, for your viewing pleasure (or your torturous boredom, whichever you prefer):

  1. I should not eat questionably digestible foods such as crab rangoons (8), guacamole (0.5lb) and chocolate (16pc.) on the night before a 6 mile run. The first lesson of the year was learned the hard way on January 1st, during the last mile of a 10K race. Ouch. 
  2. Sobriety is not a requirement for me to run. This lesson came during a business trip in Atlanta, after I had three martinis at dinner and then decided it was time to get at least two miles in at the hotel gym. Good times had by all involved.

  3.  Sometimes my long runs are better when I am tired/sick/hungover. I think maybe because I’m already hurting, my body numbs out any extra pain I put it through. We won’t talk about how I feel after the run, though.

  4. If my foot hurts, it’s probably not a great idea to run fartleks for the next three days in a row. For most people this is fundamental knowledge. I am not most people.

  5. Sometimes, Advil really is the best remedy. Ice is great, rolling pins are fantastic, rest is cool.But I’ve knocked out more soreness and inflammation in 12 hours with Advil than with ice in three days. My liver is probably only functioning at 50% right now…but hey, whatever it takes to run again, right?

  6. Not every ache and pain is an injury, cupcake. But, some of them areIt’s not always easy to tell the difference, but if running 1/4 mile makes you cry, you’re most likely injured.

  7. It’s really dumb to sign up for a race that’s happening next month, as a way of willing an injury to heel. Yeah, it doesn’t work. This lesson cost me more cash than I’d like to admit.

  8. Monitoring my pace on my GPS watch doesn’t make me a faster runner. It just makes me a more frustrated slow runner.

  9. Beer is a form of running fuel. Really. I’ve seen it work wonders, especially the night before the NYC Barefoot Run. Not to mention beer has been present at pretty much every race I’ve ever been to. There’s got to be a correlation somewhere.

  10. Real barefoot runners are a bit weird. We are kind of like geeks who just happen to prefer the outdoors to comic-cons and World of Warcraft. We go on weird diets, run in weird clothing like capes, kilts and tutus, and walk around in public with no shoes on. But we are all really very intelligent and open-minded, which is where the geek part comes in.

Examples of acceptable running gear for a barefoot runner. No Lululemon here, my friends. (interesting that both photos include Pat Sweeney...interesting, but not at all surprising)

  1. Someday, I want to be an ultra-marathon runner. Don’t you just love the word “someday?” It eludes to absolutely no time commitment, but really makes me sound like I’m actually going to accomplish it. Someday.
What did you learn in 2011?